How you can tell you live in California...		How you can tell you live in Idaho...
author: anonymous / submitted by Phil Adcock		author: EA Magg
Your co-worker has 8 body piercings and none are visible.		Your co-worker has 8 body piercings and they're all shotgun wounds.
You make over $250,000 and still can't afford a house.		You make over $25,000 and still can't afford a house, even one made of pulpwood.
You take a bus and are shocked at 2 people carrying on a conversation in English.		You hitch a ride on a truck and are shocked at 2 people able to carry on a conversation.
Your child's 3rd grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, is named Breeze.		Your child's 3rd grade teacher is a fourth grade graduate.
You can't remember...is pot illegal?		You can't remember...where did I put that pot to piss in?
You've been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.		You've been to a baby shower that has a brother and sister who claim to be the parents.
You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown and can taste the difference between Sumatra and Ethiopian.		You have a very strong opinion about where your chili beans are grown and can smell the difference between Mexicali and Boise farts.
You know which restaurant serves the freshest arugula.		You know which restaurant serves the freshest opossums.
A really great parking space can move you to tears.		A really great parking space can move you to Sears.  But if you have 2.4 acres, your 7 kids can each place a mobile home on your land.
A low speed pursuit will interrupt ANY TV broadcast.		A low speed human pursuit is fast enough for any bear.
Gasoline costs 75 cents per gallon more than anywhere else in the U.S.		Gasoline is not available.  Don't need any.  Your last four cars are up on blocks rusting out, but provide great cover for your 6 hound dogs.
A man gets on the bus in full leather regalia and crotchless chaps. You don't even notice.		A man gets on the bus in full leather regalia and crotchless chaps.  You don't even notice until his horse gets on.
Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30 am at Starbucks, wearing the baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney IS George Clooney.		Unlike back home in California, there is no Starbucks in Idaho. Road kill tastes better with a Pabst Blue Ribbon.
Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.		Your car has no tires.
Your hairdresser is straight, your plumber is gay, the woman who delivers your mail is into BDSM and your Mary Kay rep is a guy in drag.		Your barber is old, your plumber is called "doc", the stranger who delivers your mail is also a relative, and Mary Kay is a flyfisherwoman who is hoping to become "one of the boys."
It's sprinkling and there's a report on every news station about "STORM WATCH 2000".		It's 20 above and shorts are the craze.
You have to leave the big company meeting early because Billy Blanks himself is teaching the 4:00 PM Tae Bo class.		You have to leave the town hall meeting early because you want to get back home in time to watch "Golden, Sunny California" on the travel log channel.
You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all busy with their cell phones or pagers.		You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all busy drinking Hopp's Scotch.
It's sprinkling outside, so you leave for work an hour early to avoid all the weather related accidents.		It's sprinkling outside, so you leave the barn an hour early to avoid getting stuck in cowshit.
Both you AND your dog have therapists.		Both you AND your dog have rabies.